Still going, Barr Jonathan

(This bait has NOT YET DIED, despite my *complete*failure* to produce ID or a phone number. Enter Barrister Jonathan Wright, lawyer and scammer, and Johan "Seven7" Mollasses, struggling Electronic Musician)

CASTLE CHAMBERS
LEGAL SOLICITORS/PRIVATE LAWYERS
LONDON HA1 3LP
UNITED KINGDOM.
email: jonathanwright@rediffmail.com


My name is JONATHAN WRIGHT, Principal Partner in CASTLE Law Chambers, London,UK. I was formally a personal attorney to Mr. Mohammed Saibi who was the chairman of Algosaibi Diving and marine Services in Dhahran, Saudi Arabia. Mr. Saibi died late last year of heart attack at the ripe age of 79 years.

Mr. Mohammed Saibi a Saudi Arabian Philanthropist, before he died, made a Will in my law firm stating that GBP10m (Ten million british pounds only) should be donated to any charity home of our choice overseas as his last contribution to humanity when it became obvious that he will not stay alive for too long. His only son, Rasheed Saibi and his entire family has no knowledge of this.

However, I am very much aware that he has left enough wealth that will last his generation a lifetime. The true situation at the moment is that the said amount of money was deposited with the Finance firm only to be paid out to a charity home.The charity home/organization would have to be picked by my law office. This implies that you will stand as the beneficiary to this Will so that the funds could be processed and transferred to your account if you are ready and in a position to assist me. You do not need to have a charity organization, all you need do is to declare your interest and show seriousness.

As a professional lawyer, I have mapped out strategies which I will use to obtain all the proper/legal documentations and last approval from Ministry of Finance concerning the funds which I will send the copies across to you for your perusal and record purpose before You contact the finance firm

I am particularly interested in securing this money from the finance firm because they have issued a notice instructing us to produce the beneficiary of this Will as soon as possible, else the account would be made dormant since Mr. Saibi was ill for a long period of time before his demise.If you are interested in assisting me, I will give you 30% of the entire funds after paying taxes due to your government and expenses incurred during the course of this transaction. The balance will be mine although I intend to send some of it to a charity organization.

I urge you to contact me immediately for further details if you are satisfied with my proposition and feel you are in a position to assist me. Bearing in mind the confidential nature of this transaction.

For the trust I have on you, I believe that you have the ability to handle this transaction, I will Prefer you respond through my private email: jonathanwright@rediffmail.com indicated above.

Yours faithfully,

BARR. JONATHAN WRIGHT Esq.
FOR:CASTLE LAW CHAMBERS.


(Nothing new there)

Barr John-san

This sounds like a proper belting thing that you proposed.
How can I offer my help services?

DJ Seven7
J.H.M

(just to let him know that I am here)

Hello,

Thank you so much for your email to my proposal.

I wish to let you know that we will have this transaction concluded under a legitimate arrangement to avoid any breach of law as we will secure all the legal documents.

Once you assure me that you are really interested with this proposal we will start the necessary procedures.

Kindly send me the following details for us to start the process of getting this funds transferred to you.

1. Send me your full names

2. Your contact address

3. Private telephone numbers and fax

4. A copy of your identification

5. A brief resume on your business and personal life

Once we secure an affidavit to place you as the beneficiary to the Will we will make application for the funds to be paid out to you in the offshore payment office of the finance firm.

I have in mind to use 30% of my own share of this money on charity and then invest 70% of it on real estate venture.

You have to keep this communication as a top confidential matter for security reasons.

Kindly get back to me for more details on how we will proceed as I want this transaction to be concluded within 14 bank working days.

Regards,

Barr Jonathan Wright

(Attached were some badly photoshopped things; a call to the bar, a passport, and some other thing about the bar having initiated him)

Jonathan my man

Here are them infos you requestioned
1. Johan Horatio Mollasses
2. 25c Earlston Court, London, LN34 5OK
3. I do not have a telephone due to an unfortunate incident with the telephone company's van, and my shovel
4. Due to the Anti-Terrorism Act passed recently in my country, there is no way that I can give you a copy of my identification over the internet
5. I attended grammar school in Aberdeen, Scotland, got 6 GCSE's, but no higher education. I moved to London to follow my dream of being an Electronic Musician. I have been producing music for nigh on five years now. Attached is one of my personal favorite tracks, entitled "Vegas". I do not have a record contract at the moment, and I frequent the local club "Choomp", and I hope to get a residency there soon. My business life is nothing special; I have had a few part time jobs, shop assistant, shelf stacker and the like. I hope my rather stringent credentials match up to what is required.

As I have said, attached is one of my favorite tracks, Vegas. I made it in 2005, and the vocals are from my good friend, Steve Doubt.

Johan

(Steve Doubt is another moniker of mine, I got the name from a spam mail about penis enlargement o_0. Attached was an altered version of a track by Calvin Harris, of whom I am a huge fan)

Hello Johan,
Thank you so much for your detailed mail.
I want you to know that this 10million pounds is a huge amount of money and before we can transact it i need to be on a safe side thats having a security and thats why i need your passport .
Since i was able to send you my own identification and my professional certificates this is to show you that am genuine .
Kindly scan and send me a copy of your identification before we can proceed.
Thanks,
Barr Wright

(I need your passport, not so I can photoshop it in my next scam, but for 'security)

I am unsure if the first message I sent arrived, as my email provider was being strange

I cannot send you the passport, or any ID, as it is against the law in my country. I am sorry if this affects anything, but I would rather not be fined up to £20,000 or have 2 years in jail.

Attached is a photograph of me, looking surprised, at my friend Steve's wedding

(Attached was a photo of the previously mentioned Calvin Harris, straight from the Wikipedia article >_<) Hello,
Am sorry i can not continue with you if you fail to send the identification and your telephone number.
I am also in U.k BUT SENT MY OWN PASSPORT.
Thanks,
BARR WRIGHT

(If only he really was in the UK, not Lagos, then I would have had to come up with another reason)

Do you not know you are breaking the law?
£20,000 or 2 years in jail? You are a brave man if you are going to risk that just to gain the trust of someone you have never met, who is throwing around frankly hard to believe sums of money, with nothing to back up their claim but a rather dodgy looking passport, and an even stranger call to bar.
I sent you a photograph to identify myself, is that not enough?
I thought you were a professional, but frankly, the teller at my local bank has a nicer bedside manner

Seven7

(I have a feeling this freaked his biscuit, and he didn't respond for a few days, so)

It has become clear to me that you do not wish to do business with me any longer. I must say this is a pity, as I rather liked you, and I did rather want the money, though I do say so myself.

Could you please delete the music I sent you to prevent piracy, as I wouldn't like you copying and selling my music against my will, and my lawyer says it would be a good idea to ask that of you.

It's not all bad though, I recently came into quite a bit of money from club dates, and I have a meeting with a record company in the morning to see if I can get signed. I just thought you should know that I am not stone broke after you left me (metaphorically, lol)

Seven7

(I hoped to entice him with the prospect of me having lots of money, but alas, he decided not to continue talking to me. What a terrible loss)

(Edit: He replied! Hooray, I am so very pleased, I might just throw up)

Hello,
Thank you so much for your email,
Who told you that i do not want to do business with
you?
I am busy getting the paper works that will place you
as the beneficiary to the funds and have finally done
that so all i need you to do now is to arrange and fly
down to Germany were you will be required to sign out
the funds and also you are required to open an online
bank account with the finance firm in Holland so that
once you get the funds from them you will lodge it in
the online account and then fly back to london were
you will stay and make transfers to your account in
U.K bit by bit.
I am not happy with the words or rather language you
always use to address me.
Kindly call me on 07024067484 to discuss more.
Regards,
Barr Wright

(o_0 Sounds complicated...)

Joanthan,

I am happy to hear from you, but I am less pleased with the content of said hearing-from.
I have to open an account with a bank in Holland, whats wrong with my normal account?
I have to go to Germany to collect it?
Did you like my music?

I will go to Germany, I may even open a new account, but I want you to understand something; I DO NOT HAVE A PHONE, sorry

Seven7

PS: Could I possibly see some of this paperwork, maybe my lawyer can help you somewhat...

(What a lie, I don't really have a lawyer, and I do have a phone *snigger*)

Hello,
Thanks for your email,
If it will be difficult to travel down to this 2 countries at same time then you have to travel to Holland and meet with the finance firm were this funds was lodged then with the help of one of the directors you will be required to set up an online account with them after signing out the 10 million pounds from their vault then you will deposit the money there and fly back to London were you will stay and make the transfers bit by bit to your London bank account.

Dear Johan, i want you to understand that i want to trust you though i have not met you in person but if i can trust myself then i have no choice but to trust you ok.

Kindly make plans to travel down to Holland were you will sign out the funds from the finance firm because after sending you this email i will draft a letter for the release of the funds to you and fax it to the finance firm then i will give you their contact for you to contact them when you are ready to fly down there.
It will my most please that we conclude this transaction as soon as possible because i have plans of investing my own share in the upcoming HONG KONG TRADE FAIR next month.
So kindly let me know when you will be able to fly down to HOLLAND and sign out this funds.
Your music is ok and am sure you can invest your own share of this money on this music .
Regards,
Barr Jonathan

(So now I only have to go to Holland, I think it's closer than Germany, and I know more about it)

John-boy,

I have always wanted to see Holland, what with the red light districts and hash cakes. I am searching the internet for cheap flights to Amsterdam as we speak. Could you possibly furnish me with some more information, as HOLLAND isn't really enough. I am finding a flight to Schiphol, will you meet me at the arrival gate? How will I know if it is you? Could you send me a photo of yourself, or hold up a sign at the airport in my native language of Danish? That would be a huge help in recognizing you, I mean how many people would be standing in a major international airport, holding up a sign in Danish?

Did you even listen to the track I sent you, quote me some lyrics, prove it

Seven7

(It is my profound hope I can get a photo of him holding an obscene sign. A man can dream)

Hello John,
Thanks for your email.
Once you secure the flight tickets scan and attach a copy of it to me and also you have route your flight to Amsterdam Holland.
Once you get the ticket i will send you the contact of the payment officer in Holland for you to contact him and he will make a hotel reservation for you.
He is the person that will help you to open the online account.
Kindly furnish me with more details.
Regards,
Barr.Wright

(Oddly enough, he isn't the first Lad to mistype Johan's name)

I asked first! XD Only kidding John-boy. And my name is JohAn, as in the Nordic equivalent to John, please try to get it right. I'm not sure if it is legal to copy and scan plane tickets for risk of counterfeiting and such, so I am afraid I may not scan them.

My present plan is to fly out sometime next week, because I have a DJing set on Saturday, and I will need Sunday to recover, and then I am working Monday, so maybe Tuesday.

I will furnish you with flight details and such when I arrange them.

Could you send me a photograph of the man meeting me at the airport, or could you arrange for him to be holding a sign with my name, or just '77' on it. I think that this is quite a reasonable request.

(I'm still going to try for; A) Obscenities on the sign, English or otherwise, B) A large drawing of a penis on the sign)

Lawrence's original mail

I did it, I found the original message from Lawrence Addo, and here it is, coupled with my original reply

Good Day,

I am Mr. Lawrence Addo, a Ghanaian; married with two kids

and I am a Christian. This transaction is 100% legal and genuine;

also we can conclude this transaction within three days if only you

will adhere strictly to my instructions.

I am in control of Five Million Three Hundred Thousand US Dollars

($5,300,000.00USD)but I do not have access to this funds; even the

bank have NO access to the account where this funds were lodged;

it is called escrow call account and it can only be transferred to the

beneficiary’s designated bank account outside Ghana because the

account is strictly meant for international transfers without any

deduction and the account can only be operated by foreigners,

government and Big companies.

Finally I did not declare this fund to the bank before my retirement

(retired Banker). I am contacting you, to stand as the beneficiary

of this fund because only a foreigner can stand as the beneficiary.

Can I trust you to hold this money for me until I come to your

country? After the transfer, I will give you 40% of the money as

your commission.

All I need from you now is send your full name, telephone, fax

numbers, company name and your contact address to enable me

to process the transfer. Because the fund can either be issued as

draft or transferred directly to your designated bank account.

There are practically no risks involved; it will be a bank-to-bank

transfer.

I hope you understand my situation. I am critically ill that is why I

contacted you to finalize this transaction to enable me have a very

good treatment abroad, and I am 67yrs.

Thank you and God bless.

Yours truly,

Mr. Lawrence Addo.

(Reasonably standard dead bank customer letter, nothing special)

I will adhere to yopur instructions to ensure that this transaction is handled in the most proffessional manner possible. Show me some official and legally binding ID and documentation (invoices etc) to prove you identity, and I will happily provide you with my account details

Johan H.Mollasses
Chomp & Assoc.

(Threw a spanner in the works straight away, and it continues below)

Lawrence Addo, the poor poor man

Unfortunately, I have lost the original message from Mr. Addo, and as bad as it probably was, I am going to fill you in myself: Mr. Addo's wife/father/business partner had a lot of money in a security company/offshore bank obtained from over invoiced contracts/inheritance/somewhere else. This type of 419 is known as the "Dead Bank Customer", due to the fact that the scammers usually claim to be bankers.

Dear Johan H.Mollasses,

Thanks for the mail and interest to finalize this transaction. I understood all you said but I want you to understand that the funds will not be released by me rather it is by the bank where I had worked for before retirement so my major reason for contacting you is to stand as the beneficiary to the said funds thus I don't need your account details.

All that you need to do is to follow the steps I have laid down for this transaction to be concluded as this transaction is simple and straight as my major concern now is to get well again as I require good medical attention in a good hospital abroad.

All that I need from you is your strong assurance that my part of the fund will be kept intact for me upon my arrival to meet you once the transaction is concluded as I promise to be truthful and honest to you and I expect you to treat me accordingly.

My contact address is 23 Achimota residential Takoradi, Accra , Ghana and my phone number is +233 249240475.

I want you to send your contact details to me (your phone no, address, copy of your international passport or driver's license) as it will be required in the processing of this transaction.

Thanks as I will appreciate a call from you so that we can discuss on some issues concerning this transaction.

Mr. Lawrence Addo.

(They usually ask for telephone numbers and passports. I don't know why, but they always do. I had to tell him I had no phone, but gave him an internet voicemail number)

I am afraid I cannot call you as I do not use the phone, but feel free to leave me a voice mail at 07092891875.

Awaiting instructions
Johan H.Mollasses

Dear Johan H.Mollasses,

Hope you are in good condition as I was wondering why I have not heard from you concerning my previous mail so that you can contact the bank as time is of essence.

Thanks and have a wonderful weekend,

Mr. Lawrence Addo.

(Expletives oh no! Knorr is a brand of sauce, but 'Johan' is Danish, and I thought it sounded Norse... Chomp & Assoc is an entirely fictitious company. Graphic design and creative advertising solutions )

How the fuck exactly can I contact the bank if you have not provided the contact details???
Holy Knor, its a wonder you get any business done with an attitude like that Lawrence

J.H.Mollasses
Chomp & Assoc.

(He tries to be a little high and mighty, the pompous git)

Dear Johan H.Mollasses,

Thanks for the mail but please the way you use some words doesn’t give a good reputation because we have ethics over here. The problem here is the communication gap as I am aware that I have not provided you with the bank details for you to be able to be in touch with them.

I was waiting for you to send a copy of your driver’s license or a copy of your international passport like I did send across to you as it is required for documentation purpose and once it is received I will send the details of the bank so that you can contact them.

You should not be harsh to me at least because of my present health condition.

Have a nice day,

(Threats against the head of state, and made up Danish laws)

I already told you that I cannot provide you with any official ID, and I could name the pieces of legislation that prevent me from copying my ID in any way, and another two preventing me from keeping digital scans of ID

Give me the goddam bank details, or I will have Gaz go down there and punch your president.

J.H.Mollasses
Chomp & Assoc

(He replies simply)

Sorry, I can't do this with you.

(Oh No! What a terrible shame, but it doesn't end there. I was having none of it)

You are funny my friend. You think I will break two national laws so I can send you ID. You contacted me saying you thought I was trustworthy, so why can you not seem to trust me and send me the contact details for the bank. I do not need your money, I own a billion doller advertising and graphic design company, but I thought I would do you a favour, as it seems that you are in dire need of help

I am very sorry that you do not wish to continue with me, but if you want to be petty over some identification, then I will leave you to kick and cry about passports in your cot. You are clearly not a big enough man to handle a real business deal, so I think I will take my services elsewhere.

Johan H. Mollasses
Chomp & Assoc

(He is being a stickler, he really wants some ID. And he brought up the whole phone thing)

First to answer your question: I do not use phones due to a failed assassination attempt, in which the plotters pumped a nerve agent through a modified telephone reciever. You can leave me voicemail at 07092891875 though.

I will happily provide Identification in person, if either I travel to your country, or I can find a bank rep in Denmark, but I cannot send a computer scan of it, due to the Data Protection Act, section 914. Also, why do you demand a scan of an ID, someone could easily just create a fake ID using image editing software, so this is not a very secure method of identifying people.
If you let me contact the bank personally, I will work something out, as I am quite a powerful man in some circles

J.H.Mollasses
Chomp & Assoc.

(I explained it up a notch, bam!)

Dear Johan H.Mollasses,

I have thought about concluding this transaction with you but doesn’t understand so many things like: The telephone number that you asked me to drop a voice mail which I have tried several times but it doesn’t go through, please I will prefer that you call me on my number +233 249240475 so that I can hear your voice or may be a text message.

I want you to tell me a little about yourself as it is better I know certain things about you, we all know that there are people out there that can fake their identity but in this case it is better I know since we are going into a business transaction that involves lots of money.

There is also an important issue concerning this transaction as I will prefer a situation where you can receive this money in cash although it requires you travel out of your country but come to think of it if the bank wants to contact you via telephone, is it not possible?

Don’t blame me for my curiosity as this transaction matters a whole lot to me and my family.

I look forward to your response so that I can give you further details.

Thanks,

(Everythings going wrong for the poor man)

I cannot phone you as I do not use the phone. I do not use the phone as a man tried to kill me via a phone handset.

A little about me: I was born 18th April, 1970 in a housing estate in the north of Copenhagen. I grew up reasonably normally, got good marks in school, in Business management and computer design, so I founded a fledgling graphic design studio, we did pamphlets and small deals, and gradually grew. We now have offices in New York, Aberdeen, Paris and Slough. I am a bachelor, and number 13 on the list of Denmark's hundred richest businessmen.
My two closest friends are my childhood friend and now executive corporate lawyer, Pedro Melflecko, and my assistant/bodyguard/head of security, Gareth "Gaz" McPherson. I have had no less than 12 attempts on my life, which is odd, because I am a friendly man. I live happily in a penthouse apartment in the center of the city, which I share with my girlfriend, Hailee, and my Iguana, Fil.

My number for voicemail or fax is 07092891875

Johan Mollasses
Chomp & Assoc.

(All names are made up by me, and I have no idea who really is Denmark's 13th richest man)

Dear Johan Mollasses,

Thanks for the mail as I understood all you said but has one question. Since you have two close friends who also work with you, I want to know if they are aware of this transaction. Secondly, can you be able to finalize this transaction abroad as in receiving the money in cash may be here in my country or in any of the bank payment annex in Europe or Asia. The major reason for this is because you will have to be able to identify yourself thus it will also be better that way though I’m only suggesting as we can also go ahead with a bank to bank transfer as I believe this transaction can be concluded before next week runs out.

I look forward to your mail so that we can go ahead with conclusion.

Thanks and you should understand that I am curious.

(I understand that he is curious.)

Dear Johan H.Mollasses,

Hope you are in good condition as I was wondering why I have not heard from you concerning my previous mail as it will enable us proceed with the transaction.

Thanks,

Mr. Lawrence Addo.

(I didn't reply for a couple of days, I had some better things to do >.<)

Lawrence,

I am very sorry that I did not respond. I was unexpectedly out of the office for a few days, as it seems that someone in the marketing department was feeding information to a rival, so I personally saw to it that his thumbs were cut off. It may seem awfully harsh to you, but business here is very hard to come buy, and I always have to keep my edge. It would be easy enough for me to travel to anywhere in Europe or Asia, so I can continue the transaction anywhere you deem fit. As to your question of who knows about this transaction; Gaz has the full details, Pedro doesn't yet know, he will just meddle with you, as he can get very paranoid about people, and Hailee only knows the bare bones, as she does not ask about business much.

J.H.Mollasses
Chomp & Assoc

(I had to have a thumb-cutting somewhere, I am supposed to be a businessman)

Dear Johan H.Mollasses,

Thanks for the mail, well I must commend you with the nature in which you go about your business as I like that are focused in life. I have gone through your mail and want to inform you that I will prefer a situation where this transaction will be concluded in Europe or Asia though I will prefer Asia due to the monetary policy over there. I have to start making arrangement by Monday towards this because I want this transaction to be concluded in such a manner that you will receive the money in cash. I will make adequate preparation towards the documentation and approval of the funds to be paid to you as the beneficiary to the said funds.

I hope this transaction will be concluded soon.

Regards and have a wonderful weekend.

Mr. Lawrence Addo.

(He doesn't seem bothered that I cut off peoples thumbs, okay...)

Lawrence,

Great. Just tell me when and where to be to conclude the transaction, and I will do my best to be there, and fulfill my duties as beneficiary.

J.H.Mollasses
Chomp & Assoc

(Reassure him a bit, you know)

Dear Johan H.Mollasses,

Thanks for the mail, I will let you know all the details by the end of the day.

(Which he doesn't)

Dear Johan H.Mollasses,

I was able to make all arrangement and I want to inform you that this transaction will be concluded in U.A.E because of it’s monetary policy as I will like to take care of myself over there and also put in money into a viable business in Dubai but one important issue here is your ID because there is no way everything will be concluded without a proper identification.

You should make up your mind in regards to this because you are like my partner and I have to give you the necessary information required.

I look forward to your mail for further details.

(He is not getting any ID)

I will produce identification when it is needed. I will take my passport (obviously) and my drivers license. When should I come, to where, and how will I know who you are.
Is it ok if Gaz, my close friend and bodyguard, accompanies me. He will be armed, but we have all the necessary paperwork for the customs staff.

I look forward to meeting you my friend

J.H.Mollasses
Chomp & Assoc

(Armed bodyguard only used here to scare him a little)

Dear Johan H.Mollasses,

Thanks for the mail, well I wish to inform you that you can go with your bodyguard when the time comes as what we have to do right now is to procure the required documents on your behalf as the beneficiary to the funds and also an approval for the payment to be made out to you in cash and in doing so I will require either a copy of your passport or Driver’s license. Once we procure the documents then you will be informed on when to travel to receive the money like I informed you.

I would have preferred a situation where you call me on my number so that I can speak with you and explain everything to you, may be your bodyguard can call and will tell you what I said if you cannot talk directly as he can act as a mediator.

(Or not, whatever)

Lawrence,

I have told you countless times two things: 1. I do not use the phone

2. I cannot provide you with copies of my ID, it is against national law.

Hope to hear from you soon

(Not that hard to understand is it?)

Dear Johan H.Mollasses,

I don’t understand what you meant by national law in regards to your id as it will help me out in facilitating the documentation. If we get approval then how will the funds be paid to you without identification.

You are making things difficult as time is of essence.

Thanks,

(He is clearly an idiot)

Lawrence,

I can provide the ID in person, but the law in my country prevents me from copying official ID in any form. If I do, I can be fined indefinitely, or jailed for up to 20 years.

No ID over the computer, only if I meet you, or the company in person

J.H.Mollasses
Chomp & Assoc

(Lets hope he gets the message this time, eh?)

Dear Johan H.Mollasses,

Thanks for the mail, I have gone through your mail but did not quite understand the law you are talking about in regards to U.S.A or your own country. If you assure me to go ahead with the transaction in regards to making you the beneficiary of the funds and you receiving the money in U.A.E then how will you be contacted apart from email when once you are to be invited for the pick up of the funds thus a phone number will be required as it will be the fastest medium of communication. If you are requested to come for the pick up, then you will be required to identify yourself when you get to the payment location.

I am not giving any assurance in regards to getting the paper work done in your name without an id until everything is in motion or better still you can come down to my country so that we both can finalize all arrangements without delay.

(I never had any plan to go to the UAE, but you knew that)

The Data Protection Act, a legal piece of legislation, deemed it illegal for any form of official Danish identification to be reproduced in any shape or form, in whole or in part. Breaking this LAW can result in a large fine, or a lot of jail time. I cannot provide copies of my id because of this. Is that so hard to understand.

I cannot use the phone because someone TRIED TO KILL ME using a modified receiver. Email is fine though. I can come to the U.A.E, but I will need a few days notice to arrange travel and accommodation for myself and Gaz.

To summarize: No ID over the computer, no phone, I would love to come to the U.A.E

J.H.Mollasses
Chomp & Assoc

(All horrible lies)

Dear Johan H.Mollasses,

Thanks for the mail, like I said before I will see if it is possible to get the documentations without an Id thus if everything goes as plan without delay then that means you ought to be in U.A.E by next week. I will keep you informed on the development so that you can make proper arrangement in regards to your traveling.

I will keep you informed,

(He'd better)

Lawrence,

Thank you for your help, I will start clearing my schedule for the coming weeks

J.H.Mollasses
Chomp & Assoc

Dear Johan H.Mollasses,

I will keep you informed on any development.

(Helpful man isn't he?)

Dear Johan H.Mollasses,

I want to inform you about the time schedule concerning the conclusion of the transaction. You should start making traveling arrangement towards next week as this business transaction will be concluded by then. The approval for the payment ought to be released by Friday or latest on Monday morning as I was informed thus as soon as that has been granted then the deposit will leave for its payment location.

(He tried to sound intelligent, and failed)

Lawrence,

Great, I'll have my secretary start looking out tickets for Gaz and I.

Dear Johan H.Mollasses,

Thanks for the mail, well I want to let you know that all arrangement in regards to the documentation will be procured by Monday thus once received, I will send the document across to you but there is also another issue concerning the delivery of the funds as it requires a fee though it will not be taken care of over here rather at the payment location. The only thing required here is that part payment will be made out over here and the balance paid at the delivery location as I have been informed because of the courier service. I wanted to let you on time because by Monday I will know the actual cost for the delivery so that you can make adequate arrangement concerning the funds because right now I am not in a position to come up with any funds because of my state of health as I know what I went through to be able to raise the funds for the documentation on your behalf.

Lawrence,

This is no problem, as money is no object to me. After we have concluded business in the UAE, Gaz and I will probably go sightseeing a bit, so we will just take a credit card to cover all costs. I await your mail on Monday

Dear Johan H.Mollasses,

Thanks for the mail, I will keep you informed.

(I wish he would stop saying that)

Dear Johan Mollasses,

Sorry that I couldn’t get back to you yesterday like I informed you due to power failure yesterday as we had a problem with the transformer though it will be rectified by today. Well all is set for the conclusion of this transaction as the approval has been granted for the payment delivery to you. The delivery charge for the payment is $16,400 as been informed thus a deposit has to be made for the courier and the remaining will be completed at the payment location. A minimum deposit of $2,500 is acceptable, so I want to let you know so that you will arrange for the funds.
I want you to acknowledge this mail so that I will let you know how to get the money across for the deposit.

I look forward to your mail as I will send to you the document procured once I am able to scan the document.

(Delivery charge? In a scam? Never!)

Lawrence,

This is all ok, but I can easily let you reclaim the deposit, and pick up the consignment myself, as was the plan. Please send me the street address of the people holding the money, and I will go and see them myself, or with you, and collect it, avoiding this charge.
Please send these details as soon as possible so as not to interrupt my schedule too much

Thank you in advance

(Not biting)

Dear Johan Mollasses,

Thanks for the mail, well I think you have said it all as it will be better that you come down to Ghana and take care of things in person because the approval we wanted was for the payment to be made out in an offshore payment center thus it’s better that you come down here and take care of everything. Why trying to say things the other way round when I informed you about the development at hand.

I look forward to your mail.

(Ghana? What happened to the UAE? I can't keep up)

GHANA???

I was told, by you no less than a week ago, that the transaction would take place in the UAE, no one ever said anything about going to Ghana, ever, at no point. I am getting tired of you springing things like this on me. Do not test my patience little man, are y too small for a transaction like this? Should I deal with your superior?

I am rather annoyed at you

(I genuinely was a little peeved)

Dear Johan Mollasses,

Why must you talk that way, yes the transaction was scheduled for UAE but the problem was that a part payment was meant to be taken care of for the delivery and you said you will like to take care of it on your own which was the reason why I suggested that you come down to Ghana and take care of things in person. You should be polite in addressing people.

(I am beginning to dislike him)

Dear Johan Mollasses,

Why the silence?

(Because you are a git)

I am sorry. I WAS HAVING A HOLIDAY IN THE UAE
I am very angry with you lawrence, very very angry.
I think you should apologise

(I hadn't responded for about a week)

Dear Johan Mollasses,

Apologize for what, my dear you should know how you deal with people. Why can’t you come out straight so that we do things like matured men. I have told you about everything and you are causing some delays. Is better you come to my country and finalize things yourself or you comply to my directives so that this deposit can leave here for UAE without further delays.

(What a tosser)

Thought you were a business man, how you just keep quiet on the pending issue.

(What?)

I'm sorry about not responding, but much of my property and assets were seized by the police in a raid on June 29. I have only just had them released/unfrozen. Something about mob connections, none of the convictions sat though. If you no longer want to this deal then I am more than happy to go out and spend the money I had put aside for expenses during this transaction.

I am a business man, but it seems that you are a rookie in the world of international relations.

RULE1: You do not tell your business partner to go to a country, only to change your mind on the country after he has booked the tickets.

RULE2: You do not demand passport scans from people who have expressly said that it is against the law

RULE3: You most certainly do not talk down to your business partner (when he is much more successful and experienced than you)

I hope this will help any future relationships you may forge. I am sorry you no longer want to deal with me, although I am still somewhat angry at you for pestering me into going to the UAE, and then telling me to go to Ghana, or you will demand courier costs from me. As for those last two letters, your ignorance never ceases to amaze me you tiny little man. I would, if possible, like to know the email address of your superior, so I could have an adult conversation with a mature and well adjusted man, unlike yourself

Yours,

J.H.Mollasses
Chomp & Assoc.
Registered since 1989

(I hadnt responded in a month or so. The whole Ghana thing was the beginning of the end, really)

Thanks

(That was not a little infuriating)

As unbeleivably helpful as one-word replies are, you hollow answer leaves me with several drilling questions;

1) What is going on with the transfer and stuff?
2) Why have you not apologized for wasting my money on a wild goose chase through the United Arab Emirates?
3) Do I still have to come to Ghana?

I hope that your reply to this will be slightly more syllable rich.

(Take that)

This business is not meant for the POOR.

(I'm *sniffle* so *sob* hurt)

That really made me laugh. I have more money than your sniveling greedy 419ing eyes will ever see. I have a real job, I don't just sit at an internet cafe all day trying to make rich Americans (or in my case, Danish) hand over their money for "courier fees" or "demmurage". You are a poor poor sad tiny little mugu who cannot pay his oga because his scams are so shit, so he has to pimp out his dad to his neighbors.

It has been a pleasure wasting your time "Lawrence", and I hope you may have learned something here over these past few months.

Your sincerely,
Peter (or "Johan" if you like)

(I let him in on my little secret, oops)

You don't have money ok, you are out there washing plates and a waiter. Is that a real job, what have you achieved as an individual.

Listen if you know me, you will like me to teach you certain things in life than making little money for the sake of it.

I repeat you are nobody in the society.

How much is your income, do you make up $50,000.00 a month you little rat.

(He isn't happy with me is he?)

I am a functioning member of my society, with quite a well paying job. You are detrimental to your society, sitting in internet cafes in your cheap jacket and plastic shoes, the only money you make are the pennies you find on the street when your oga throws you out of his house after fucking your mum.

To be truly honest with you, I am 15 years old, from Scotland, and I like to spend my spare time winding up retarded mugus like you. My name is Peter, not Johan, and Mollasses are a kind of shoe.

I hope that you gained something from this monumental waste of your time, and I am glad to inform you that nobody ever falls for scams like this any more, thanks to sites like www.scamorama.com, where I hope to publish this little conversation. It has been fun winding you up, and I hope the next person you kack-handedly fool gets better treatment than me.

Peter

(Thats how it goes)

Thanks you for everything as i wish you all the best in your endervours. You must be a brilliant boy for you to have such a wonderful brain. How did you come with the words "mugu" and "Oga"

You're a smart boy.

Keep it up and you should study Law or Philosophy in tertiary institution.

I don't wear plastic shoe neither do i have Oga but why saying someone fucking my mum when i have not said such thing to you.

Have a pleasant weekend.

(Now he talks down to me, bad idea)

It has been a pleasure.

Mugu(n) - slang, derogatory term made popular by the recent insurgance of 419 scam. Used to describe someone who has fallen for said scam. Also used by scam-baiters to describe said scammer

Oga(n) - slang, used to describe a 419 scammers superior, often the owner of the internet cafe where s/he does their work. A scammer often has to answer to them for failing

You truly are a foul foul man. Does it not even bother you a tiny bit that a teenager from Scotland has been playing you like a Playstation for nigh on two months. I hope you die in a gutter, stripped of yr possesions by the police, alone and afraid. It is honestly what people like you deserve

I am studying GCSE Physics and Geography, and I hope to get a Masters degree in Astrophysics

Have a nice day "Lawrence", and I hope that nobody is gullible enough to fall for your crummy attempts at 419 ever again.

"Johan"

(Dictionary definitions of popular 419 slang)

Thought you were a friend, so why wish me bad when i wish you the best. Don't make me angry with you Peter.

(Now he wants me to be nice?)

Or what, you'll swear at me in broken english

I wish you bad because you prey on gullible and vulnerable individuals to get money dishonestly, there is no way I could ever wish that well.

"Johan"

(Truthful)

Mind your language. I have not said bad to you and you wish me bad. Respect yourself ok

(Chiggety check yo'self before you wreck yo'self)

I am minding my language, and I find it highly appropriate to call you a cock fumbling shit kicker.
Why don't you get a real career, like a shop owner, or entrepreneur instead of failing miserably at 419?
I respect myself, I just don't respect you

Peace out knobend

(And thus the saga ends, as far as I am aware)

First Post ^_^

On this blog I plan to show my various 'scambaits' as my alter-ego, Johan Mollasses. For more information on scambaiting and 419 fraud, there are a vareity of other websites, such as www.scamorama.com.